McDonald's

8:04 PM
Jeremy's friend calls, suggests that Jeremy could make her dreams come true by stopping at McDonald's and picking up a dollar sundae before visiting her on duty. Jeremy promises to do so.

8:10 PM
Jeremy and his roommate jump in the Mach 5 and head to McDonald's. No issues arise en route.

8:14 PM
Jeremy and his roommate arrive at McDonald's. It is heavily staffed, but the majority of the staff (including the manager) appear to be engrossed in meaningless conversation with one another. There is thus one order-taker and one cook working.

8:16 PM
Jeremy's roommate orders a quarter-pounder with cheese and a dollar sundae. His sundae is delivered immediately.

8:17 PM
Jeremy orders a double cheeseburger and two dollar sundaes.

8:20 PM
Someone in the drive-through line orders no less than five dollar sundaes and nothing else. Ostensibly, this person either has several children in the car, several drunks in the car, or severe diabetic problems. The McDonald's staff is incredulous but obliging, and sets to making the five requested sundaes immediately.

8:23 PM
Just as the fifth and final sundae is finished, the soft-serve machine utters a fatalistic groan and craps out. The McDonald's staff implements their extensive maintenance protocol on the machine in question. Such protocol includes but is not limited to:

-striking the machine with their fists or other blunt objects
-turning the machine on and off over and over again
-addressing the machine as a "fuckin waste of a bitch"
-telling one another to "shut the fuck up cause [they's] all up on that shit"

8:25 PM
Jeremy is informed that his sundaes are now an impossibility. The suggested replacement is a yogurt parfait. Not wishing to return empty-handed, Jeremy grudgingly accepts the yogurt and leaves with his roommate.

8:26 PM
Jeremy calls his friend to inform her of mission failure; her boyfriend picks up. Jeremy explains the situation to him, only to hear back "Yeah, she hates that McDonald's yogurt crap ... but I'll let you tell her what happened. I had nothing to do with this."

8:33 PM
Upon arriving back at his apartment, Jeremy drops his bag of food and both yogurt parfaits pop open, sending their contents throughout the bag and onto Jeremy's desk. When his roommate begins laughing uncontrollably, Jeremy tells him to go blow himself.

8:34 PM
Jeremy realizes with utter conviction that his life is a farce.