Quotes from Atlas
"Love is our response to our highest values."
"Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong."
Sometimes it's difficult to accept the truth if it's not something you want to know. But there's no comparison between the fallacy of joy experienced in fiction and the sincerity of joy experienced in truth. The difference is that joy stemming from truth is devoid of the paranoia, anxiety, and fear that accompany joy stemming from fiction- especially self-induced fiction.
It's right to hope for things, and it's requisite for happiness that we strive to achieve our hopes. As in any endeavor, though, one must frequently take a look at the known truths of a situation and determine the feasibility of continuing. An infinite number of conflicts will always be present, standing between yourself and the hope you seek to fulfill. It takes an objective perspective to be able to look at those conflicts and determine the best course of action to take. If the best course of action from your perspective is indeed to end an endeavor, and seek to fulfill your hopes elsewhere ... that takes ever more maturity, courage, and self-understanding.
The most successful among us will always be those who can reconcile objective understanding with passionate faith in achieving their hopes.
March 23, 2010
March 21, 2010
Worth
It only took five years, but I think I'm beginning to understand.
There is nothing wrong with basing your worth on achievement. As a matter of fact, it's the only way to build worth for most people. The key is to work to achieve those things which most align with your values.
I understand myself enough to know that my greatest happiness is derived from achievement, and the recognition of that achievement by others whom I respect or love. In the past I may have derided this quality, and viewed it as a weakness. But truly- where else should I have turned to find a source of self-worth?
I believe now that my mistake was not in the assignment of my source of worth, but in how narrowly I defined its terms. I felt as though something was missing because I included only academic or professional accomplishment in my definition of achievement. And while those two fields do comprise much of the achievement I've gained in my lifetime, it was immature to look only to them. I suppose they were easiest because they were the most simply quantifiable, and were the goals to which I devoted most of my time.
The last six months, though, have brought enough change to my life that I have begun to see more. I always remembered the lessons of the Cadets, but until now I don't think my perspective was broad enough to really appreciate the most important one. What Hop was always trying to say was that achievement means delivering value through excellent performance- and that's all there is to the definition. Achievement need not be restricted to how well I complete engineering calculations or how well I play my trombone. It need not and should not be restricted at all.
As seemingly obvious as this revelation may have been to everyone else, it feels like a new dawn to me. The unveiling of a truth that I have trusted enough to act upon, yet never addressed consciously. It is as though a whole new manner of thinking, previously just beyond my reasonable reach, may now be used day to day. Most importantly, the understanding I am just now chasing and trying to develop brings me to a state of the most serene confidence and joy.
There will be times in my life, right now included, where I will be sad, lonely, hurt, and nervous about the future. I am and will be scared of things. But what I can carry with me is the knowledge of who I am, and what I do.
I strive to achieve- to deliver value, excellently. Doing so brings me the greatest happiness I have known. That knowledge about myself means that, so long as I act with the broadest possible definition of achievement, I never really need fear for my future.
I will continue to work to be an excellent engineer and businessman. I will continue to learn as an excellent student, in whatever fields I may learn, for the rest of my life. More importantly than those two, I will continue to strive for excellence as a son, brother, and friend. Someday, I will work to be an excellent husband, and an excellent father. Because I know that doing well in all these roles is what will bring me happiness, I have no real need to be afraid of what the future will bring.
Whatever happens- and bad things will happen- I will fight to achieve. I will be me ... and I'm lucky to know that.
It only took five years, but I think I'm beginning to understand.
There is nothing wrong with basing your worth on achievement. As a matter of fact, it's the only way to build worth for most people. The key is to work to achieve those things which most align with your values.
I understand myself enough to know that my greatest happiness is derived from achievement, and the recognition of that achievement by others whom I respect or love. In the past I may have derided this quality, and viewed it as a weakness. But truly- where else should I have turned to find a source of self-worth?
I believe now that my mistake was not in the assignment of my source of worth, but in how narrowly I defined its terms. I felt as though something was missing because I included only academic or professional accomplishment in my definition of achievement. And while those two fields do comprise much of the achievement I've gained in my lifetime, it was immature to look only to them. I suppose they were easiest because they were the most simply quantifiable, and were the goals to which I devoted most of my time.
The last six months, though, have brought enough change to my life that I have begun to see more. I always remembered the lessons of the Cadets, but until now I don't think my perspective was broad enough to really appreciate the most important one. What Hop was always trying to say was that achievement means delivering value through excellent performance- and that's all there is to the definition. Achievement need not be restricted to how well I complete engineering calculations or how well I play my trombone. It need not and should not be restricted at all.
As seemingly obvious as this revelation may have been to everyone else, it feels like a new dawn to me. The unveiling of a truth that I have trusted enough to act upon, yet never addressed consciously. It is as though a whole new manner of thinking, previously just beyond my reasonable reach, may now be used day to day. Most importantly, the understanding I am just now chasing and trying to develop brings me to a state of the most serene confidence and joy.
There will be times in my life, right now included, where I will be sad, lonely, hurt, and nervous about the future. I am and will be scared of things. But what I can carry with me is the knowledge of who I am, and what I do.
I strive to achieve- to deliver value, excellently. Doing so brings me the greatest happiness I have known. That knowledge about myself means that, so long as I act with the broadest possible definition of achievement, I never really need fear for my future.
I will continue to work to be an excellent engineer and businessman. I will continue to learn as an excellent student, in whatever fields I may learn, for the rest of my life. More importantly than those two, I will continue to strive for excellence as a son, brother, and friend. Someday, I will work to be an excellent husband, and an excellent father. Because I know that doing well in all these roles is what will bring me happiness, I have no real need to be afraid of what the future will bring.
Whatever happens- and bad things will happen- I will fight to achieve. I will be me ... and I'm lucky to know that.
March 13, 2010
Formative
"Good morning, Cadets. Today you're in ... I don't know. It doesn't matter. Food truck is outside the main door, practice fields behind it. We're going to work. Doesn't matter where we are."
"Are you going to be legendary?"
"You gotta be broken down before you can be built into what you're supposed to be. The body wasn't made for this- so they make it for you."
"Wake up, and go to work."
"This isn't drum corps. You need to remember whom you're speaking to, and when, and what they're after. You can't address people as you would be- you need to address them as they want to be."
"Those are men out there. Men with jobs, and families, and who have worked here for 30 years. They're proud, and they know their shit, and they're scared. The front line is always scared- and you gotta remember that."
"You're not a manager until you've fired someone. Looked them in the face and said, 'No. Not you. Thank you.' And not for anything they did- for something beyond your power and theirs. I've cried with people. I've found new jobs for people. But you're not a manager until you've told someone they have to go home to their family, and have no job."
"I'm not worried about dying. I can't do anything about that. I just don't want to leave you guys behind. I've got a lot left to do."
"I got enough cream-filled donuts for both of you. Be nice and wake me at 12! Love, Mom."
"You gotta let those guys know that what they're doing is valuable. Maybe not to them ... maybe they're a contractor. What do they care? What they might care about is doing a good job if you walk away and say, 'Those were some good guys who did some good work. I'll call them next time.' That means work to them, money to them, food to them. That's value."
"If it were up to me, I'd take all that cancer out of her body. I'd eat it like candy and die tomorrow, if I knew that that meant she could watch our grandson grow up. I don't know a lot, but I know that."
"See, there were guys at school who would spend 8, 10 hours a day in the practice room. I always beat them, and I only spent 2-3 hours there per day. The trick isn't how many hours you spend doing something ... it's how many hours did you spend effectively doing something?"
"It depends on your definition of achievement. I base mine on many things. There are always kids like you- but would you say I've let you squander your drive, or your time? There's a balance, between all of you. All I hope is I've done enough for them ... and for you."
"Integrity is the key to your success."
"Learning is painful. If you think you're learning and it's not painful, then it must be your passion, or you must not be learning. And I doubt very many of you think of cost-benefit analysis as your passion."
"I wish I could have been home more. I wish I had been home more."
"Is this what you bring to me? A week of time, and you bring reasons why you didn't do what you were supposed to do? I have no time for this, or for you, now. I don't want this. I want people who bring me what I ask for. Even better- I want people who question what I ask for and make it better. But you haven't brought me anything. So what would you have me do?"
"You started out so shy, so quiet ... and you've become a showman. If I didn't know how hard you worked, I would be concerned for the decency of our institution. As it is, I'm only concerned for you."
"You're brilliant. At least I think you are. But you need to grow up."
"I love you."
"Good morning, Cadets. Today you're in ... I don't know. It doesn't matter. Food truck is outside the main door, practice fields behind it. We're going to work. Doesn't matter where we are."
"Are you going to be legendary?"
"You gotta be broken down before you can be built into what you're supposed to be. The body wasn't made for this- so they make it for you."
"Wake up, and go to work."
"This isn't drum corps. You need to remember whom you're speaking to, and when, and what they're after. You can't address people as you would be- you need to address them as they want to be."
"Those are men out there. Men with jobs, and families, and who have worked here for 30 years. They're proud, and they know their shit, and they're scared. The front line is always scared- and you gotta remember that."
"You're not a manager until you've fired someone. Looked them in the face and said, 'No. Not you. Thank you.' And not for anything they did- for something beyond your power and theirs. I've cried with people. I've found new jobs for people. But you're not a manager until you've told someone they have to go home to their family, and have no job."
"I'm not worried about dying. I can't do anything about that. I just don't want to leave you guys behind. I've got a lot left to do."
"I got enough cream-filled donuts for both of you. Be nice and wake me at 12! Love, Mom."
"You gotta let those guys know that what they're doing is valuable. Maybe not to them ... maybe they're a contractor. What do they care? What they might care about is doing a good job if you walk away and say, 'Those were some good guys who did some good work. I'll call them next time.' That means work to them, money to them, food to them. That's value."
"If it were up to me, I'd take all that cancer out of her body. I'd eat it like candy and die tomorrow, if I knew that that meant she could watch our grandson grow up. I don't know a lot, but I know that."
"See, there were guys at school who would spend 8, 10 hours a day in the practice room. I always beat them, and I only spent 2-3 hours there per day. The trick isn't how many hours you spend doing something ... it's how many hours did you spend effectively doing something?"
"It depends on your definition of achievement. I base mine on many things. There are always kids like you- but would you say I've let you squander your drive, or your time? There's a balance, between all of you. All I hope is I've done enough for them ... and for you."
"Integrity is the key to your success."
"Learning is painful. If you think you're learning and it's not painful, then it must be your passion, or you must not be learning. And I doubt very many of you think of cost-benefit analysis as your passion."
"I wish I could have been home more. I wish I had been home more."
"Is this what you bring to me? A week of time, and you bring reasons why you didn't do what you were supposed to do? I have no time for this, or for you, now. I don't want this. I want people who bring me what I ask for. Even better- I want people who question what I ask for and make it better. But you haven't brought me anything. So what would you have me do?"
"You started out so shy, so quiet ... and you've become a showman. If I didn't know how hard you worked, I would be concerned for the decency of our institution. As it is, I'm only concerned for you."
"You're brilliant. At least I think you are. But you need to grow up."
"I love you."
March 11, 2010
Cruelty
It seems like people, when acted against, respond in one of two ways. They will either become staunch opponents against such action, or apathetic proponents of such action.
As an example, I think of team meetings back in college. I did the best I could to be on time for those meetings, because people were often late and wasted my time. Others took the opposite view. If others were going to be late, why the hell shouldn't they be late, too? After all, the meeting wouldn't be starting on time anyway. Punctuality would, in their minds, have cost them time.
I stand by the notion that being acted against- intentionally or unintentionally- generates reactionary emotional response in most people. If the action is severe or frequent enough, those acted against may form new behavioral habits. They may begin to make choices that reveal their views on the action itself.
Conversely, if people are not acted against, their perspective may lack an understanding and appreciation of what it is to be acted against. They may continue acting against others without heed, simply for having never experienced the consequences of similar actions themselves. Without an emotional link to connect themselves to the action's outcome, they can remain aloof and objective enough to continue acting in the same way.
The most important thing we can do when bad things happen is to learn. "Learn why the world wags and what wags it." I myself have acted poorly- terribly- to others in the past, with guilt but without much hesitance to continue to do so as the years continued. I was selfish beyond measure, and my perspective lacked the crucial experiences that would have transformed my pity for the victims to abhorrence of the original act itself.
Well ... right now, I'm learning. I will continue to learn. And I will use this pain to push myself to being kinder. More conscientious. Less selfish. More understanding and considerate. Smarter ... and, ultimately, less cruel.
Because if I can't or won't do this, then nothing will have changed, and all of this pain would have been spent on self-pity and sadness.
What a deplorable waste that would be.
It seems like people, when acted against, respond in one of two ways. They will either become staunch opponents against such action, or apathetic proponents of such action.
As an example, I think of team meetings back in college. I did the best I could to be on time for those meetings, because people were often late and wasted my time. Others took the opposite view. If others were going to be late, why the hell shouldn't they be late, too? After all, the meeting wouldn't be starting on time anyway. Punctuality would, in their minds, have cost them time.
I stand by the notion that being acted against- intentionally or unintentionally- generates reactionary emotional response in most people. If the action is severe or frequent enough, those acted against may form new behavioral habits. They may begin to make choices that reveal their views on the action itself.
Conversely, if people are not acted against, their perspective may lack an understanding and appreciation of what it is to be acted against. They may continue acting against others without heed, simply for having never experienced the consequences of similar actions themselves. Without an emotional link to connect themselves to the action's outcome, they can remain aloof and objective enough to continue acting in the same way.
The most important thing we can do when bad things happen is to learn. "Learn why the world wags and what wags it." I myself have acted poorly- terribly- to others in the past, with guilt but without much hesitance to continue to do so as the years continued. I was selfish beyond measure, and my perspective lacked the crucial experiences that would have transformed my pity for the victims to abhorrence of the original act itself.
Well ... right now, I'm learning. I will continue to learn. And I will use this pain to push myself to being kinder. More conscientious. Less selfish. More understanding and considerate. Smarter ... and, ultimately, less cruel.
Because if I can't or won't do this, then nothing will have changed, and all of this pain would have been spent on self-pity and sadness.
What a deplorable waste that would be.
March 08, 2010
Destiny Manifest
Some nights are easier than others. So are some days.
It feels like it's been a series of rough nights and distracted days since last Wednesday. The acceptance for Houston felt spur of the moment, uncontrolled, wild ... at least, as wild as I've ever been making that kind of decision.
That acceptance also felt like the final hammerfall. I had worked hard to ensure that I would leave all paths open. Come hell or high water, I would have a viable path to go in any direction or in pursuit of any priority. I would earn what I always strive for- opportunity and choice.
In the most basic sense, at least, I succeeded. My hedging worked and I could go as I would. As of last Wednesday at 11 AM, I could have chosen east or west. Familiar or foreign. Possibly big or definitely home.
I still can't articulate what draws me to Houston. I chose Lehigh six years ago because I knew it was the best choice for my future. I choose Houston now from some indefinable sense of need. Of course part of the decision is because a door closed in the east. I could go there and succeed professionally, see old friends and family, drive roads and eat food and live a life known from having lived it. What I can't explain is my desire to ... not. And it's not a slight against those I'd be seeing, not in the least. I miss so many of them so dearly. It's just that that isn't my strongest want right now.
As an aside, part of me would still give almost anything to reopen that door. Part of me always will. It was special, and it made me so unimaginably happy that it still surprises me sometimes. Maybe it's a little worse now, because all of it is strictly in the past. From my own admission I can tell you that my memories of the past are immortalized in the most pleasing ways possible. Almost without exception, I remember the good. I remember the fun, the smiles, and the joy.
Right now I am ponderous, hurt, and lonely ... but the hard decision has been made. The next few steps of my path are set, waiting for me. And you know what? The good news is that there is never any need to wait in life. Not really. There is always progress to be made. There are miles to run, thoughts to ponder, music to play, friends to make, and loved ones to visit.
Another day, another segue.
Some nights are easier than others. So are some days.
It feels like it's been a series of rough nights and distracted days since last Wednesday. The acceptance for Houston felt spur of the moment, uncontrolled, wild ... at least, as wild as I've ever been making that kind of decision.
That acceptance also felt like the final hammerfall. I had worked hard to ensure that I would leave all paths open. Come hell or high water, I would have a viable path to go in any direction or in pursuit of any priority. I would earn what I always strive for- opportunity and choice.
In the most basic sense, at least, I succeeded. My hedging worked and I could go as I would. As of last Wednesday at 11 AM, I could have chosen east or west. Familiar or foreign. Possibly big or definitely home.
I still can't articulate what draws me to Houston. I chose Lehigh six years ago because I knew it was the best choice for my future. I choose Houston now from some indefinable sense of need. Of course part of the decision is because a door closed in the east. I could go there and succeed professionally, see old friends and family, drive roads and eat food and live a life known from having lived it. What I can't explain is my desire to ... not. And it's not a slight against those I'd be seeing, not in the least. I miss so many of them so dearly. It's just that that isn't my strongest want right now.
As an aside, part of me would still give almost anything to reopen that door. Part of me always will. It was special, and it made me so unimaginably happy that it still surprises me sometimes. Maybe it's a little worse now, because all of it is strictly in the past. From my own admission I can tell you that my memories of the past are immortalized in the most pleasing ways possible. Almost without exception, I remember the good. I remember the fun, the smiles, and the joy.
Right now I am ponderous, hurt, and lonely ... but the hard decision has been made. The next few steps of my path are set, waiting for me. And you know what? The good news is that there is never any need to wait in life. Not really. There is always progress to be made. There are miles to run, thoughts to ponder, music to play, friends to make, and loved ones to visit.
Another day, another segue.
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