Vice
"Choosing your virtue is easy ... you may select whatever is most suitable to your palette and you get points for 'doing your best.'
Your vice, though ... that's something to be cherished. It's rarely rewarded in any fathomable way, and yet we all have them. We all exercise them daily. We all make horrible, exquisite, ultimately damning use of them so that we may live day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute. But they are, indeed, damnable. Obscene. Best left alone. My god, could you imagine life without the vices that keep you from killing yourself? What horrors we may yet witness in the name of virtue, integrity, and unutilized vice.
For it is what we must not do- but do anyway- that in many ways defines who we are and how we are remembered. A good man is remembered by his family and may enjoy the honor of his house for all ages ... but the troubled man, anguished man, dangerous man, that is who we are. The man who will wrong others and be wronged. The man who will condemn others and be condemned. The man who will go to the grave with not just friends but half a society's worth of enemies. All of us, living in vice, damning ourselves and the day we were born with each swig of the bottle, thrust of pure lust, drag of some obnoxious chemical.
So I say, to all who will hear ... choose your vice with care. Choose your weakness such that you may live to the heights of damnation and the depths of immortal praise. Be who you are and do what gives you happiness from breath to breath ... for although I do not celebrate or endorse hedonism, I do say that its appeal and use, in ironic moderation, is what makes this existence in any way comprehensible. Remember- any hero may choose his strength ... but the wisest man knows that he spends far more time with his flaws."
September 28, 2008
September 17, 2008
Deja Vu
11:01 PM
His light: The lamp above the kitchen table.
My light: A desklamp and a computer monitor.
His noise: The Phillies game.
My noise: The Daily Show.
His work: Scheduling and inventory.
My work: Turbine modeling.
His vice: Gin and tonic.
My vice: LionsHead.
His goodnight: Two sons and a wife.
My goodnight: Two roommates.
Try or not, you will emulate those whom you admire.
"As a family, our natural talent is work ethic."
11:01 PM
His light: The lamp above the kitchen table.
My light: A desklamp and a computer monitor.
His noise: The Phillies game.
My noise: The Daily Show.
His work: Scheduling and inventory.
My work: Turbine modeling.
His vice: Gin and tonic.
My vice: LionsHead.
His goodnight: Two sons and a wife.
My goodnight: Two roommates.
Try or not, you will emulate those whom you admire.
"As a family, our natural talent is work ethic."
September 13, 2008
Your Element
Can't forget to send e-mails to the band director and the chapter. Also, my adviser. I never dropped off that contract ... I should do that this afternoon. Need to knock out both homework assignments this weekend. Is there an extra team meeting this week? I should check on both of them, but I was told not to. All right. Gotta switch the laundry over. Errands are done. Did I forget anything else I should have gotten? Shampoo. Sure, I'm free at that time. I can take care of that. I'm on it. Just hand it to me and it will be done tonight. Not due till next Friday. One more cup of coffee. I'm free to run tomorrow. No, I'm not. The next day? I'll let you know. We should hang out. I'll definitely be there. Can't promise I'll be there. We can't talk anymore. We just can't. It's unbearable. I'll make every effort. Hey, I have tickets to this thing- want to go? I need more shampoo. The homework is due Thursday, right? The homework is due on the 30th, right? When is the exam? Gotcha. The plant model will be submitted by Friday. Sure, we can do Tuesday and Thursday. Let me check my calendar. Let me run that by my to-do list. Let me see what else is in my e-mail box. We should do happy hour before rehearsal. I'm not playing the gig next week, but the one in October. Yeah, I picked up the dry cleaning. Yes, officer, I understand. Wait, when is the homework due? Hey, are you free to go out this weekend? I just posted the Jueves plans- let me know.
Yes, I can do that.
Give it to me.
I'll have it done by tomorrow.
Sometimes it just feels good to be in your element ... and I've always known this about myself. If I don't fill my to-do list and my calendar, I grow unhappy, pensive, and restless. If I can fill it week to week, day to day, always be producing, always be running, and fall asleep before I can read a whole paragraph ... I'm happiest.
It just feels like I'm a little more me again.
Happy September.
Can't forget to send e-mails to the band director and the chapter. Also, my adviser. I never dropped off that contract ... I should do that this afternoon. Need to knock out both homework assignments this weekend. Is there an extra team meeting this week? I should check on both of them, but I was told not to. All right. Gotta switch the laundry over. Errands are done. Did I forget anything else I should have gotten? Shampoo. Sure, I'm free at that time. I can take care of that. I'm on it. Just hand it to me and it will be done tonight. Not due till next Friday. One more cup of coffee. I'm free to run tomorrow. No, I'm not. The next day? I'll let you know. We should hang out. I'll definitely be there. Can't promise I'll be there. We can't talk anymore. We just can't. It's unbearable. I'll make every effort. Hey, I have tickets to this thing- want to go? I need more shampoo. The homework is due Thursday, right? The homework is due on the 30th, right? When is the exam? Gotcha. The plant model will be submitted by Friday. Sure, we can do Tuesday and Thursday. Let me check my calendar. Let me run that by my to-do list. Let me see what else is in my e-mail box. We should do happy hour before rehearsal. I'm not playing the gig next week, but the one in October. Yeah, I picked up the dry cleaning. Yes, officer, I understand. Wait, when is the homework due? Hey, are you free to go out this weekend? I just posted the Jueves plans- let me know.
Yes, I can do that.
Give it to me.
I'll have it done by tomorrow.
Sometimes it just feels good to be in your element ... and I've always known this about myself. If I don't fill my to-do list and my calendar, I grow unhappy, pensive, and restless. If I can fill it week to week, day to day, always be producing, always be running, and fall asleep before I can read a whole paragraph ... I'm happiest.
It just feels like I'm a little more me again.
Happy September.
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