Uh-oh

We all know that semesters tend to follow a cyclic pattern. While it's true that they are all usually unique in some way (harder classes, different personal stuff to deal with, specific events/people/places, etc.), it's also plain by about sophomore year that each one shares distinct similarities with the others. From my experience, it seems that these common elements are typically linked chronologically. I've thus constructed the following rough timeline for ease of explanation and a more in-depth analysis of how each semester erodes from collegiate paradise to festering hellhole.

Weeks 1-3
New classes with new material may be tough to grasp at first, but eventually you figure out the professor's way of thinking and administering the material. Either that, or the material is so easy that you doubt the validity of the class entirely. Organizations are just starting their semester plans, sports teams and music groups are beginning their own preparations, and everything is predictably serene. There's plenty of time to see friends, go out for the night, have long meals, and maybe even sleep if you're careful.

Senior Sobriety Level: 3-6 nights per week are devoted to drinking. Good times.

Weeks 4-7
Exams appear, seemingly out of nowhere, and give you a rude awakening either because 1) you're forced to cram, 2) you screw up, or 3) both of the above. Professors begin whispering of long-term group projects that will be due in the next ten weeks, but you won't start any of them. Plans for extra-curriculars are solidly in the works now. Sports teams are traveling and musical groups may be in dress rehearsals for their first performances of the season. Your life has begun its descent into chaos.

Senior Sobriety Level: Seniors may now begin to diverge into two packs- the hopeful and the hopeless. The hopeful will cut down their bar nights to 1 or 2 per week. The hopeless will continue their previous plan, maybe increasing the average to 4-6 nights per week.

Weeks 8-11
Break came and went, and all the sleep/work/preparation you were going to do went out the window. You return to school only to be drop-kicked in the face by a second round of exams, perhaps a project due date or two, and the approaching high point of music/sport/extra-curricular activity. You wonder why you chose your major, your clubs, your societies, and your activities the way you did, because right now all you want to do it sleep, drink, have sex, or some combination of all three.

Senior Sobriety Level: Seniors are now fully diverged, having begun to see the light at the end of their respective academic tunnels. The hopeful may go cold turkey on alcohol. The hopeless may require hospitalization.

Weeks 12-15
You swore it couldn't have gotten any worse, but here we are. Performances, games, activities, programs, and speakers are all happening at 3 PM every afternoon, lasting until 2 AM the following morning, and you have more projects due than you thought possible. Last-minute topics and homeworks fall on deaf ears as the student body seeks to maintain some semblance of its motivation, drive, and sanity. The only inspiration you can find comes in the form of heavy caffeination or the idea that, for better or worse, it will all be over soon.

Senior Sobriety Level: The last remnants of the hopeful have plunged into the abyss of hopelessness. The original hopeless seniors are now out of the hospital and, quite sadly, are registering for fall courses.


Anyway, we're just now entering the second part of the cycle, and frankly I think this time I might be in over my head. Classes, music, gryphoning, trips, other organizations ... there's only so many hours in a day. Time will tell, I guess, but let's just say I can't wait for the weekend so that I have a chance to do as much work as possible. Ouch.