The Summer of George

The 6 weeks from hell have passed. The semester ended well, all loose ends were tied up, all obligations were completed, and most graduating friends were caught up with before they left. I went to Europe for two weeks after all that and had an amazing time. I then moved into the off-campus house I'll be living in for the summer and have since been unpacking, practicing, running, lifting, reading, and enjoying the company of others. Right now I'm at home (today is my brother's birthday) to see family for the first time in three months, then it's back to PA on Sunday to see Memorial Brass. On Tuesday I start work in Allentown, doing who knows what yet. Then it's a mere 12 weeks until gryphon training and the start of my last undergraduate year of college. There are lots of friends staying at Lehigh for the summer, and there's even a girl I've started to see, unofficially.

In short, we have the makings of a great, great summer.

I therefore submit a list of goals I wish to complete in that time. Some are personal, some are skill-based, others are just milestones for things that have already begun. Some are solo endeavors, while others (mostly the skill-based ones) will require the help of friends. All are important to me, to some degree, and I can only hope to finish as many of them as I can.

-re-learn parallel parking ... it caused me to fail the driving test once and now it's costing me my manliness
-learn how to cook beyond the level of boiling noodles and heating frozen waffles
-run 1 mile in 6 minutes
-run 3 miles in 20 minutes
-bench more than 100 pounds, 3 sets (this might have to wait till the fall unless I can find a lifting partner)
-regain my chops and perform the entirety of the Rimsky-Korsakov solo
-play as many sports as possible / spend as much time outdoors as possible
-read, and not just Harry Potter 7
-do not play video games
-see the Cadets and drum corps as often as possible
-see the Phillies as often as possible
-go to the shore
-go to amusement parks (Dorney Park, Great Adventure, etc)
-go to NYC at least once ... there must be a show I haven't seen yet
-spend no weekend night in alone ... that's why I quit gryphoning
-begin and finish as much Martindale research as I possibly can and finalize the topic with the professors
-slam BUS 111 like a car door
-learn to wash dishes so that I do not shame my housemates
-learn to shoot things / wage combat upon my enemies
-lastly for this list and perhaps most importantly ... learn to let go

That last one is the one I'm kind of struggling with right now ... a life of living by the book, never getting into real trouble, and never taking real risk has left me clinging to the comparably small comfort zone that I've constructed for myself. But this last school year, spent mostly single and working with no risks being taken at all, has shown me that that's not how I really want to live. Anyone can wake up each day and go to sleep each night without going outside what they're comfortable doing. The thing is, there's no joy in that because that comfort zone comes with minimal communication, trust, and intimacy with others, at least in my case.

So during the day, even as I try to let go and just enjoy some relaxation before work starts, I find myself being drawn back in. I question myself about things in my life simply because there are no concrete answers to fall back on for re-assurance. Part of me wants to put a stop to all of it and take the easy way out ... live at home, work back at Lockheed Martin for the summer, not go anywhere new, and watch time pass until classes started again. It's really silly when you think about it- the idea that just living in an off-campus house and exploring some new increase in independence is giving me such a sense of nervousness. But that's exactly what's happening. Whether it's obtaining new work, figuring out some of those skills I listed above, or starting to date again ... I just need to find a way to let go. To relax and let things take their course. If you just wake up and do the best you can each day, adapting and rolling with the punches, odds are things will work out. That's not always true, either, but ... I guess you just have to trust in yourself and remain positive.

So that's what I'm going to do.

Here's to the Summer of George ... for now it's time to go get a haircut. As much as I love the Chewbacca look I have going, I think I'll look better for it.