Cruelty

It seems like people, when acted against, respond in one of two ways. They will either become staunch opponents against such action, or apathetic proponents of such action.

As an example, I think of team meetings back in college. I did the best I could to be on time for those meetings, because people were often late and wasted my time. Others took the opposite view. If others were going to be late, why the hell shouldn't they be late, too? After all, the meeting wouldn't be starting on time anyway. Punctuality would, in their minds, have cost them time.

I stand by the notion that being acted against- intentionally or unintentionally- generates reactionary emotional response in most people. If the action is severe or frequent enough, those acted against may form new behavioral habits. They may begin to make choices that reveal their views on the action itself.

Conversely, if people are not acted against, their perspective may lack an understanding and appreciation of what it is to be acted against. They may continue acting against others without heed, simply for having never experienced the consequences of similar actions themselves. Without an emotional link to connect themselves to the action's outcome, they can remain aloof and objective enough to continue acting in the same way.

The most important thing we can do when bad things happen is to learn. "Learn why the world wags and what wags it." I myself have acted poorly- terribly- to others in the past, with guilt but without much hesitance to continue to do so as the years continued. I was selfish beyond measure, and my perspective lacked the crucial experiences that would have transformed my pity for the victims to abhorrence of the original act itself.

Well ... right now, I'm learning. I will continue to learn. And I will use this pain to push myself to being kinder. More conscientious. Less selfish. More understanding and considerate. Smarter ... and, ultimately, less cruel.

Because if I can't or won't do this, then nothing will have changed, and all of this pain would have been spent on self-pity and sadness.

What a deplorable waste that would be.